Monday, May 01, 2006

Baghdad Pete tells USC fans not to worry

In a shocking new development, it appears a full 24 hour period went by yesterday without one new allegation of impropriety regarding the Southern Cal football team. USC still managed to make the news, however. Pete Carroll, from this point on aka "Baghdad Pete" has said, "I'm not concerned" about what the NCAA will find at USC. Baghdad Pete continued, "There are no NCAA infidels in Los Angeles. Never! I blame Al-Yahoo! Sports -- they are marketing for the USC haters! And no I am not scared, and neither should you be! Be assured. USC is safe, protected! I triple guarantee you, there are no NCAA soldiers at USC."

Thanks for that reassurance, Pete. But reality check for just a sec. In the past week, your star running back has been accused of taking hundreds of thousands of dollars in money from an agent, which would make him ineligible for the 2004 and 2005 seasons. Your star wide receiver, whose eligibility for this coming year is at stake, has taken over $10,000 from a USC booster for his apartment rent. Your projected starting quarterback has been arrested for sexual assault. Your star offensive lineman for the past two season, the one who was previously arrested for solicitation of prostitution and threatening a fellow student with a deadly weapon, is also implicated in taking money from an agent. The bad news, Pete, is that the NCAA hasn't even begun to peel the surface on this corruption. The cancer of this program is not from without; it is from within, with a coach that puts the P-A-Y in players' coach. It is from a coach that thinks it is funny to scare his players by having one player pretend to quit the team and commit suicide by jumping off a building. A coach that teaches his players not to abide by contracts and rules (cf. the BCS in 2003). A coach that is happy to invite known drug dealer and gang member Snoop Dogg to his sidelines for practices and games. Pete, this falls at your door. You have lost institutional control of your program.